My mom broke her arm

aiyoo...My mom broke her arm on Saturday, now i really need a maid. She broke her right arm and can't do any works liao. But very hard to find a temporary maid. Anyone have any suggestion? I need a maid now! Just need to clean up the house, take care of 3 kids like bath and make sure on time to go to school and may be cook for lunch.

My heart feel so warm...

As i am working in Ipoh and Yang is here with me, but DH and Jing were in BM.
I am quite allergic to some food, especially synthetic sweetener. I ate some 'jeruk' on Mon till now still coughing!
Last night was a hot and dry night. I have to switch on the air-con or Yang won't go to bed (he told me he's hot!). Usually i have a jar of water in the room, easy for me to mix milk for Yang and i can drink also. But last night, really a hard night for me, dry air mah i cough and cough lo... and I think i disturb Yang. He woke up and get me the jar of water... oh... so warm... i want to cry liao... seem like he understand me and i need to drink water to made my throut smooth so that i can stop cough.
Thank you, my dear...

My bread - fail la!

hehe... i made the bread by myself - using bread maker! but ho... i don't have any talent on cooking one la. Even my hubby challenge me, so... i will try until i success loh...

Look at above picture - water too much, yeast too much, flour not enough, or flour expired liao... ?!

Any command?

Bad bad bad quality - Kindermusic instrument

Yang attending Kindermusic class 1 years plus already. Now he is going to attend his 4th class of Our Time. So, in kundermusic class, you are encouraged to buy the home practice music set. It's 2 story book, parent guide book, and 1 musical instrument. Yang have Fiddler dee-dee, Wiggles and Giggles, Away We go and Milk and Cookies. Above photo showed were the music instrument from Wiggles and Giggles and Milk and Cookies. See how bad the quality!!!
I really no mind to pay for the home music set, since the class was so expensive liao, so never mind la. But ho... i am paying for the so BAD quality instrument! Hello, Kindermusic leh...

Milk and cookie instrument - stir xylophone:
1- the color fade
2 - rough
3 - very bad finishing!!!

Wiggle and Giggles instrument - Zig Zag blocks
1 - easily break!
2 - see the tiny piceses showed at photo no.2

Fidder dee-dee - Fiddlesticks
1. - fade color also

Do you think i should let my Yang playing? I complain to the music school teacher liao, and she said she will forward to the Kindermusic HQ. Hope that Kindermusic will do something la.

Oh... the home music set is RM 215 and the whole term 15 classes is RM375.

Expensive bo? Aiya, i can't always buy new cloths lo and buy funny funny things liao lo.

KFC Triple XL Burger

I kena tipu lagi!!! See the KFC so called Triple XL Burger! Yap, the bread is BIG, but the meat... hak... only half thickness of Zinger burger meat, and it's cut into 2 pieaces ya!! em... The combo set contain 1 "so call - Triple XL" burger, soda drink and ice cream - i am still hungry after that!!!

Good to have "kakak" - maid! - Part 2

Ok, I send Jing to my mom usually during Sunday night. Because my friend went out so can't send the maid to her, so to my mom home first la, near by her house so she can fetch after her dinner.

Here is the conversation between my mom (grandma) and Jing.

Grandma:" Aiya, kakak headache need to find her Panadol."
Jing" She is sick? Ok, let me prepare a grass of water for her."

Then, my mom get the maid Panadol and Jing prepared the water.

The cupboard was dirty, after "serve" the maid my mom just went there and wipe the cupboard.

Jing:" Why are you doing all this things?"
Grandma:" It's dusty, need to wipe."
Jing:" Grandma, you can ask kakak to do mah. daddy said her jobs is do the housework."

Grandma... my mom really speechless...

Luckily my mom told her that kakak not feeling well, can't disturb her. Then only Jing "satisfy"!

Jing, oh, Jing... She is really "planning" when i have a maid. Need to "review" whether i "can" have a maid bo...

Good to have "kakak" - Maid!

I used to asked for a maid to clean my house every time when i feel i can't / no time to clean the whole house liao. Paid by day. Last Sunday just asked for 1. Usually Jing won't border there was a maid or not, but this time...

Here is the conversation between DH and Jing during dinner.

Jing:" Why we don't have a maid at home?"

DH:"Em...Why?"

Jing:"She can do a lot of things mah."

DH think for while and reply:" If we have a maid, she only will help mom mom doing house works."

Jing smile sengih-sengih and reply:"em... ok...."

The conclusion - Jing thought if DH get me a maid mean "kakak" can help her "do" a lot of things/works! She is planning liao if daddy said soon we will have a maid! So DH said need to "review" again whether need to get a maid bo?!

Em... Jing.... Oh Jing.....

Fighting

Jing and Yang likes to fight. For anythings! Jing likes loves to disturb Yang, and Yang off cause doesn't like it. So end up, Yang will chase Jing and they run and run and run around whole house... If Yang can "reach" Jing, sure he will beat Jing, then Jing will "twist" his hand, then yang will pull Jing's long hair, Then Jing will beat back... then i can hear "mama,....., wah...wah... ah.... no.... cry la..." I will never "interrupt" them, i will let them fight (no bleeding, let them be la...). After that i will punished both of them. My principle - you are wrong if you beat other(s). When asked to be apologized each other, Yang be the gentleman but Jing... always will refuse (need to manja her, tell her a story... untung one story leh..).
This whole drama episode kept on repeated and repeated at my home everyday every time...
Oh... i can tahan they cried long long time and they "look" cute and funny! haha...LOL

My "baby' - the mice

I am doing my project which need to passage into the mice so that to keep my Trypanosoma alive. So lucky i got the positive case on Tuesday. Cepat-cepat infected into mice la or i lose my trypanosoma again. In my unit, we do have our duties, so off cause the mice need to monitor each day. This Aunt J supposed to be look after the mice (not said supposed but she do in the mice duty group.) she can just ignore! geram... this is not the first time liao, really speechless to her... Yes she is senior but not please not so "acting". She is just a laboratory assistant only, ok?

I really "hates" my sister 1st ad 2nd kids - rude, no manners, ego... my sister la, she is the type of mother "kids can learn everything by just send them to nursery"! I been argue with her about "parents to put attention to kids more than anything" for several times liao. Both of husband and wife are the same, but ho still can have 3 kids. Now my grandma and mother so regret to ask her to give birth to 3 kids liao, since she was so selfish and never spend extra time to her kids.
Her jobs - "produce" baby, then send to her MIL to take care till 3 years old then send back to my mom for nursery. Her MIL was in Kepala Batas, no "good" nursery. Oh... She stay near my mom's house. She prefer to works, everyone in my family really encourage her to work than become a fulltime housewife.She works till 530 pm, husband and wife in the same company. So, reasonable la to go to office together. But ho, my BIL working hour not fix one leh, sometime need to work overtime leh. Off cause she can drive herself, but she refuse. So, always came back late la. Sometime 9pm!!! Hello, my dear sister, you have 2 kids to look after leh. they need someone to teach. Not just send to tuition can selesai all things one leh. Some more, your kids ho, not/won't/refuse to lishen to what Ah Mah (my mother) said one leh. Image la, 3 kids at home which can't control!! Till my husband also can't stand, he will fetch my daughter to his office from 630pm till 930pm then only send back my daughter to my mom home to sleep. He continue to work in office loh. (I am not in mah, he can work till whatever time he want. :P)
Don't know what to say to my sister liao. My mom, sound her also the same.
The different she is at home and not at home is her kids won't run from front to back and back to front. Her kids scare to her, cause her punishment - pukul anak! until sometime my mom can't stay and ask her to bring her kids home and do whatever she want, but not in front of my mom. her kids also.. will never know why kena pukul, because she never explain!
After dinner, she will just sat in front of TV and started her "pointing order"! "JQ, take this to me." " JH, take this to me", she just like a Tua Pek Kong! She will turn on the TV program that she want to watch. Her answer:" I was so tired and working whole day liao, need to relax first." Hello, my dear sister, not every TV programme is suitable to kids!
Ah... don't know what to say! I just know i will always watch myself (not kids first.). Will never repeat her step la...

Long long meeting...

Can you imagine yesterday i was in the meeting from 830am to 630pm? em... my buttock was pain...

%$#@~&*^%:... advertlet.com

Just wonder what the hack this "advertlet.com" doing... making me so panic - blog sudah dicerobohi, kena delete liao!... I am blur on IT ya! Luckily managed to fix it.
Thank siggyx.com.

Old old buddy...

This is my old old buddy... we were friends since 1982... what a long long long time liao...

He just get marry. Look how nice his photo, because he is a photographer mah... he took my weeding photos also, but ho, budget problem not as nice as his one and that 7 years back mana ada so canggih thing especially in small town like Bukit Mertajam. My photo album was the first generation of digital type. em...dun have soft copy can't upload here. Sorry!

NEET - 尼特族

Understand chinese ah? Read this...

尼特族與寄生蟲的差異在哪裡？這恐怕是很多父母痛心的自問。一個關鍵時刻、兩個關鍵思維，釐清帶種與放縱的界限。

在日本社會裡，這幾年出現一種「尼特族」（ NEET），指的是：Not in Employment, Education or Training，意即不升學、不就業、不進修的十五到三十四歲年輕人。他們很多是長期在父母羽翼下成長，一旦到該進入社會的時候，卻喪失做決定的能力與勇氣。他們通常缺乏自信、人際關係孤立，不肯面對由校園轉換到社會的挑戰。或是曾在職場受到挫折，而不願再嘗試。

依據日本勞動機構的調查，目前日本尼特族已超過六十二萬人。
父母過度保護，是養出尼特族小孩的主因。經濟成長搭配上少子化趨勢，父母大都有足夠的經濟能力，也願意一直金援小孩。尼特族一旦遭到挫折退縮到家裡，父母 也不向小孩施壓，漸漸讓他們成了足不出戶的隱蔽青年。而尼特族中也不乏曾是「乖乖牌」的小孩，從小接受父母的安排，為符合家庭的期望不斷讀書、補習，長大 了才決定以消極的態度表達抗議。尼特族繭居家中的時間一旦越拖越久，就業競爭力就越薄弱，惡性循環造成個人、家庭，甚至是社會沉重的負擔。

造成「尼特族」的重要推力，正是不放手的父母。父母不放手，小孩不放膽，他們錯過人生關鍵的試誤（trial anderror），結果就是即使七老八十了，心裡仍在青少年階段徘徊。

中正大學心理系教授黃世琤，是三個孩子的母親，她很清楚父母「放手」內心要修練的五大關卡：

一、缺乏信心：父母覺得只要一放手，孩子就跌倒、失敗，所以不願放手。有時父母越缺乏信心，子女就越會跌倒。

二、失落感：孩子失去掌控、連絡，父母覺得被孤立，被忽略，像風箏斷線，面對空巢的失落。

三、羞辱感：子女的行動讓父母蒙羞，父母把子女的失敗，視為是自己的失敗，在親友面前抬不起頭來。

四、憤怒：雖不反對子女的決定，但過程中沒有和父母商量、討論，父母最後才知道，感到憤怒。好比，都快要結婚了，父母最後才看對象。

五、擔憂受傷害：子女遭受重大損失傷害，父母失去孩子，面對折翼傷痛。

不同的父母，面對大小不一的關卡。最高行政法院書記官伍榮陞，

五年前妻子罹癌病逝後，就父兼母職的照顧四名子女，經常忙得心力交瘁「她走的那一年，每天早上我送完孩子，一間間關完燈，我就出不了家門，呆坐沙發哭一場。」栽培子女讀書成材，是妻子的心願，更是承諾。排行第三的長子伍家鼎，在爸爸做菜時，經常進廚房幫忙，沒想到幫出興趣。當今年三月，他提出要念職校、想學做菜時，伍爸爸一口回絕「不可以！」「我們家不是當律師，就是醫生。」父子陷入冷戰，後來，他無意間看到兒子作文寫到「夜晚萬盞閃亮的霓虹燈，卻沒有一盞是屬於我的。」才體悟到兒子想走另一條路，都得不到支持的苦。現在，伍家鼎是私立開平餐飲學校高一新生。他覺得自己做菜很有天分：「做菜給我的成就感，跟考試的成就感不同，一個是願意做的成就感，一個是不願做的成就感。」雖然將來他仍不確定是五星級餐廳大廚，還是擺麵攤的老闆，

但是他的父親放手，讓他試路。

關鍵時刻：青少年期的試誤 回頭時間成本低，叛逆能量可善用政大心理系教授陳皎眉表示，如果說試誤是人生必經的階段，那麼青少年期，就是試誤最關鍵的時刻，〖因為即使發現路不對了， 回頭的時間成本最低。」而且青少年叛逆期有很強的能量，聰明的父母善用這股力量，可將它導向正面用在自我探索上。

「沒有任何心理學工具，比得上父母對孩子的觀察與瞭解。」父母是最親近孩子的人，如果父母看不出孩子的天分，其他人很難做得更好。
父母是協助子女開發潛能最關鍵的人物，美國社會心理學家羅夫（Joseph Luft）與英格漢（ Harry Ingham〉發展出的「喬哈利之窗」《JohariWindow ）可以解釋其中關鍵：每個人都有不為人知的潛力，或者連自己都不知道的天分，只有親子之間能夠坦誠，孩子才會將隱藏的那個自己打開來，告知父母自己要什麼，而自己又有哪些天賦是父母沒有注意到的；另外，父母也應該給予子女誠實的回饋，協助孩子找到連他們都不知道的潛能（見圖）。

台大心理系畢業，又有商學學位的李明融是一個帶種的爸爸，因為他支持讀了兩年大學的女兒李盈瑩，放棄文憑的執著，轉讀餐飲職校。他不在意親友對他不支持孩 子讀書的批評，因為人生路漫漫，他看到一個更真實的世界：身邊成功人士雖多，但快樂的人很少。文憑，無法讓女兒更快樂，這就是事實。

問題是，「帶種父母」與「放縱父母」之間的界線，在哪裡？如何確認孩子是在逃避學業，還是探險人生？這確實是很大的挑戰。

有三個選項：

一，如果你是總統的父母；

二，如果你是王建民的父母；

三，如果你是日本「尼特族」的父母。

哪一個角色，最需要帶種？

答案是第二選項：王建民的父母。

當一個總統或者尼特族的父母，需要承受的風險並不大。
當一個孩子沒有變成世界級棒球明星之前，誰都不知道他的嘗試成本有多大，尤其當他在青少年時期，有能力考上台大 機系時。所謂的風險，包括，他可能變成簽賭案的球員鋃鐺入獄，也可能是被球隊淘汰後的計程車司機。一如李明融的角色，在某些人的眼中是「帶種」，但某些人的眼中叫做「放縱」。

關鍵思維一：把孩子當大人看待 孩子做出選擇，父母就必須退後帶種與放縱之間，是有不同。

哈佛大學心理學博士愛卜斯坦（ Robert Epstein），在二○○七年四月出版的新書《在每位青少年中再發現成人》《 The case against adolescence: Rediscovering the adult in every teen）

建議父母：「想要培育出負責又快樂的青少年，就必須將他們當成人看待。」
他強調，每位青少年都有成人的特質，父母必須主動給予青少年成人般的權利與義務，才能夠誘發青少年的成熟度。至於如果父母想要判斷，青少年只是好玩隨便想想，還是認真想要嘗試某一個生涯方向，最簡單的方法，就是「問」，再觀察孩子的反應。

陳 皎眉舉例，當孩子因為喜歡扭蛋，說要去開店，父母可以問問：「你知道開店是什麼樣子嗎？」如果孩子說不出所以然，或者聽到開店要處理那麼多事，就打了退堂 鼓，父母大概就知道，孩子並不當真。像伍榮陞數度觀察伍家鼎，發現他積極蒐尋餐飲方面的資料，「布局很久」，於是知道兒子是當真的。

如果孩子清楚選擇，而且堅持要做，即使有風險，父母也必須退後，讓他們承擔後果，

陳皎眉表示：「對父母來說，最難的事其實是體悟，『雖然你能給的很多，但也就只能給到這麼多』（You can do so much, but only so much. ）。」

關鍵思維二：挫折不能無止境 以階段性目標，培養自主與信心

除了要求孩子，在試誤的過程中，必須為自己負責之外，黃世琤還指出一項父母千萬不要犯的錯誤，那就是讓孩子停留在「重複挫折」的階段。

她在長達七年的心理輔導臨床經驗中發現一個現象，任何人如果試來試去都沒有成功找到認同的目標，他的自主性會越來越弱，就越來越不能做決定，就越難發展認同。一旦自我懷疑的想法在年輕人的心中浮現，這時想要嘗試追求自我的動力反而會降低，孩子也就失去「帶種」的動力。

她提醒家長，由於時間與資源有限，試誤不可能沒有止境，但也不可能一蹴可幾。放手是可以一步步來的，就像《聖經》中描述的，老鷹教導小鷹飛翔，先是拆掉鳥巢最細緻的底層，露出枝枒與荊棘，再來才是驅趕小鷹離巢飛翔。

黃世琤表示，「能夠找到一個合理、合適的階段性自我目標或承諾，都遠比一直在搜尋，長時間找來找去找不到的情況要好。」比較可行的策略，是與孩子共同討論出階段性目標。等到出現一些成績之後，孩子的自主性隨之增強，信心有了，再尋找下一個目標。像爬階梯的方式，一階階往上爬。

前國防部長陳履安從小教導子女要「輸得起」，他指出，現在父母的心魔卻是「輸不起」。他的五名子女個個出身哈佛、麻省名校，又是MBA博士，結果後來出家、經商、拍廣告片、寫武俠小說……，樣子全不一樣，他完全讓子女適性發展。

他比喻說，清朝當時，父母為女兒裹小腳，從不管她怎麼痛、怎麼叫，因為心中相信，這樣女兒才可以嫁到好人家。「現在做父母的，表面上不為女兒裹小腳，但心裡面卻拚命為子女裹小腳。」父 母若想方設法的要子女按照自己期望走，就是在心裡跟小孩子比武，兩個人在鬥，最後一定會有人受傷。不為子女裹小腳，也是伍榮陞掙扎過後的體會，他說，子女 不是父母的「家產」，父母只是忠心良善的好「管家」，「我們只能灌溉、施肥、除草，至於這棵樹要結什麼果子，是他的生命，也是他的責任。」他牽著兒子的手 笑笑說。

六十二萬人口的尼特族在日本形成社會問題前，沒有任何一對父母希望自己的孩子變成尼特族。但是，這類父母卻不自主的掉入「操心太多、安排太多」，一輩子的在循環。在台灣，雖然沒有尼特族的正式統計，不過，趨勢的隱然形成已無庸置疑。

尼特族與寄生蟲的差異在哪裡？這恐怕是很多父母，最痛心的自問。

I think i am not that type of parent because first i am too poor liao, at least financially i can not support them all the good good luxury things loh...

情人－打油诗

是一位男性朋友sms给我的，那时刚好谈到“情人”， 我和他都是属于他人了。

“老婆是家
情人是花
工资给家
奖金养花
生病回家
病好看花
男人爱家
也喜欢花
他记得回家
但没忘记浇花
今晚他会回家
不过会先去看花”

我回他： ק％＄＃￥℃×！～。。。

然后，再sms给他，

“老婆是家
女儿是花
工资给家
奖金存花 － 银行户口！
生病回家
病好顾花－不然干吗“生”花！
男人爱家
不得不喜欢花 － 女儿你也有份哩！
他记得回家
因为不得不浇花
今晚他会回家
因为花会找他！－甚至不停打电话找他！“

我朋友是无话可说啦！我老公会不会气死掉呢？ 哈哈哈哈。。。

I am selling thing on eBay!

I started to sell my extra things off liao... too many extra things at home leh, so if you are free, please drop by to:

1. Bib, bowl, clip, pin and comb - sell in set

2. Born & Bond Sarong sling

3. Fisher Price Toy's car

4. Sony DVD+RW

5. Farlin Bath Net

6. Tommee Tippee bowl and cutlery set

7. Ice block

8. Disposable underwear

9. Kids Playing map - just sold, very fast buyer!

Coming soon... Anakkun stroller and Elego car seat...

对不起，我的女儿。

婧：我想吃KFC，可以吗？
妈妈：不可以。上个星期才吃。而且又油腻又贵，很不健康的。
婧：可是，我真的想吃KFC，可以吗？（又是那一招－撒娇。〕
妈妈：不可以，我没钱。
婧：你没钱？你去到那么远工作，不是可以赚很多钱的吗？
妈妈：谁告诉你的？
婧：不然，为什么你要去到那么远工作？

我，又无语。胡扯一般，带过去。

蛮对不起我的女儿。从小她是我自己带到两岁，至到我成为FTWM。过后，她是由我母亲带。
她还是不能谅解，我需要工作，充实自己。而且，有了扬，钱不够用！不，老公的钱赚不够快！

2008 - Price increasing year! - Part 2

Went to Pasar malam yesterday, even Lok Lok (Celup-celup) also increased price from Rm0.50 to RM0.60! Oh...my God... can't those family have a lot of kids, how to survive!

Look great, right?

Every paraent off cause will always feel or say their kids are look great, right!?
me too loh! hehe...

McD Porridge

I wonder that the porridge will never get in FULL one ah? This is not my first time got the "half full" porridge. Since i bought Driv Thru, i didn't return lah, but yesterday i really get mad liao, i bought from counter and open the lid in front the McD stuff. and so the manager asked why, so i complained that i always got the half full porridge. Geram mah... and she insisted said that it's full woh! didn't apologized pun!
I have to band McD porridge liao!

2008 - Price increasing year!

Went to shopping at Jusco, Giant and Tesco yesterday. I found that the price for everything was increased! Example, i bought Popeye singlet set for Yang at Giant last month and i found that Yang love it. The price was RM6.90 during middle of Dec but yesterday - 1/1/2008 the price was RM7.90! Increased 14.5%! Wah... not just this only, diaper also increased, dairy, etc...
Em... how to survive with my little salary...
Have you notice when government said all government servant get their increased salary, everything increased price - a lot compare to the % of increased salary. So what the use of increased salary - better than nothing, right?