How to teach?

Yesterday Jing was kena belasan kau-kau by DH, her buttock have a lot of cane scars.
Why?

I wonder it's my fault to be a working woman and left the kids with other person, such as grandparent or babysitter. Jing stay with my mum since i started to return to work. There in my mum house,my sister also left her kids. Total have 4 kids in my mum house. My mum is ok, cause i always share with her how to grow a kid follow the modern way. But my sister... she never teach her kids, her style is beat the kids and never explained! So what do you expect a kid, how much he can understand what by himself.

I noticed that Jing not really close with Yang this few weeks. I try to talk with her and explained to her, why she need to "care" to her own brother, bra...bra..bra... But ho... yesterday she did something really made daddy angry and mad!

1. Daddy bought her 2 pics of cakes. So as a caring sister sure you will share with the brother one pc, right? but no, she didn't share and she can ask Yang to eat the cake that dropped on the floor only! Ok, daddy warning her.

2. She love to paint. Daddy bought her one whole set on water color. She prefer to paint during Yang's nap, so that Yang won't disturb him. But yesterday, Yang woke up early, she didn't share too. She can purposely washed the left over color on the plate and don't let Yang to paint! even thought she haven't finish painting yet.

DH really get mad that time. Sure lah daddy caned her like mad! I was in the room, and i can't move too fast to protect her. I was so shock to hear from daddy. Actually daddy try to solve the problem by himself since he want to reduce tension on me. But tak boleh tahan! Whatever daddy or i or anyone buying something for Yang, sure Yang will ask for one more set because he wants to give it to jie jie (Jing) too. He loves his sister very much.

And because of hubby beating Jing, my FIL started a fight with hubby as Jing was his beloved grand kid.

Last night, when settle with Jing, i asked her again,can she did it to her own brother. She said can't. But she also told me that she "hates" Yang. She didn't told me why even i asked. She just told me that Jie Yi (Sister's youngest kid who same age with Yang) more cute. I just told her that she is not your own sister.

Today, FIL called me and told what he has ask Jing. And now i know why - My sister eldest daughter who is in standard 2 "ask" Jing not to be friend with Yang or she will beat her. I wonder is it true a story? But what i know from previous is Jing will follow whatever my sister's daughter say or no one can play with Jing. If my mum noticed it, she will punish the eldest one. Usually ask her to stay in the room, she is the one can't play with other.

What should i do? Told my sister? She just like hell!! I don't want to start a fight with her again, she and i being quarrel for the issue how to teach a child for several time already. Since she want to "move" her kids from my mum house, just hope so the time pass more fast. She moved to her new house and it's too far from my mum house, her MIL will take care of the kids. I really no eye see! But to my kids, if my sister still want to leave her kids with my mum, i am going to "move" Jing out from that house and to Ipoh, no matter how hard i have to take care of 3 kids!